"Hide My Tears"

My tears were replaced with frustration, animosity and anger since you've been gone. I survived a contentious divorce, maintained my Smile, all the while solidifying my most important job, that as Daddy.

Trying to figure out, "what part of the game is THIS?" I graduated college, got separated, lost my Mother, finalized my divorce and a whole host of other intangibles that have composed the highlight reels of the past 2-3 years of my Life.

Throughout my Life, I have lost so much! I have this impenetrable exterior that doubles as my force field against the objects thrown my way, the darts that are clearly aimed in my direction and resentment that comes in the form of fake smiles and well wishes.

I crave my Mother as if I am WITH child and EVERY grocery and convenient store within a 100 mile radius is completely sold out of the one item that will satisfy this craving of mine.

I have grown to trust the LORD like I have never trusted anyone or anything in my entire Life. "What are we doing today GOD?" I ask HIM. "Where shall I stand and how shall I position myself, to adequately receive the Blessings and Glory that you would have for me LORD?"

LORD, I feel too weak today, but I am getting up anyway because I know that you are waiting for me to put on my full armor of YOU before I step one foot out of my front door.

Dear GOD, I don't know how much longer you will have me on this journey, but with every tear that I shed, I will take two more steps.

My GOD, I don't know where my energy is, but I will start sprinting because I trust that you will meet me at the finish line.

I left work a little late and this traffic is going to make me late in picking up the kids in two different places, but I make every green light in the midst of a sea of red lights that are in front of me.

I don't know what I am going to cook the kids for dinner tonight, but after their meal, they tell me "thank you Daddy. That was a "Fantastic Dinner" (http://allthebestallthetime.blogspot.com/2009/09/fantastic-dinner.html)!

"What are we doing today GOD?" It matters not, because I trust YOU with all that I am.

I Love you Mother. I miss you so much. If people only knew what I have been through the last 2 -3 years of my Life, they would simply wonder why I am not crazy. I give it ALL to my LORD and Savior. For had it not been for HIM, I would be resting with you.

My desk at work, in the restroom, during meetings, sitting in the Congregation, at a restaurant, at my favorite coffee place, as I write my Blogs, work on my book, drive in my truck, take a shower, get dressed, eat at my dinner table, watching a show on TV, in front of my kids...I cannot and no longer have the desire to do anything, to "Hide My Tears."

Love and My Mother are My Inspiration!
Love and My Mother are My Motivation!
Love and My Mother are My Celebration!
Love and My Mother are My Dedication!

All the Best, All the Time!
Corey

"Doubt"

When "Doubt" no longer has any ambiguity, we no longer hold ourselves hostage in fear of it.

It is through the transparency of ALL of our words and actions that we can truly find and be at peace within our lives and the people that wish to be a part of our lives.

"Doubt" used to be a high ranking official in my Life. That is until I demoted it to "Private First Class," dishonorably discharging and giving "Doubt" its final walking papers.

"Doubt" used to have a high credit score in my Life, back when I used to charge up fear, uncertainty, confusion, denial, cheating, misgivings and whatever else that could help me max out that egregious credit limit. That is until I cut up those superficial credit cards and refused to pay those exorbitant interest rates by simply "opting out."

My ability to talk freely of all that has previously hindered me has everything to do with my confessions of.

By confessing with my mouth, I have freed my mind, which no longer hinders my actions, thus paving a path down the road of righteousness that allows me to pace myself enough to be able to read and comprehend all of the signs along the way.

I said, "When "Doubt" no longer has any ambiguity, we no longer hold ourselves hostage in fear of it."

With everything that the LORD has promised, thus guaranteeing to me, there is none of it, in which I "Doubt."

Love and My Mother are My Inspiration!
Love and My Mother are My Motivation!
Love and My Mother are My Celebration!
Love and My Mother are My Dedication!

All the Best, All the Time!
Corey

"To Be Here"

Have you ever been on the receiving end a of proclamation that sort of reprimands you when it is exclaimed that, "you should've been there?!"

Personally, I know that I have been on that receiving end quite a few times. And some of those times, I must admit, was the biggest Blessing in disguise that I was NOT there and did INDEED "miss out." Some of those times I knew exactly what I was missing out on...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Then there are those times when you know that you know that you should have INDEED, been present.

But it is not in the past that we dwell nor reside. It is in the now that we move forth, with pride pushed to the side.

For if it hinders you, it is only a matter of time before it beckons you to surrender to it.

Therefore, we right our wrongs, take mental notes as we progressively move along, so that we are not back in the same position, singing the same old song.

Some tend to think that Life is all about being "present." I too tend to agree, but there is nothing like a LIVE performance.

It is not just good to be present anymore. You need "To Be Here."

Wherever you were prior to today matters not. What matters most is that from this day forth, come hell or high water, you will do everything in your power, "To Be Here."

It is understood that you may not go back and check the "present" box for all of the times that you were absent...."Lesson Learned."

But the Glory is not in having the power to undo what you did or did not do. No, the Glory is in the ability to alter and change your mindset, coupled with the fact that you have been severely Blessed with the opportunity of a 2nd chance, to get it right this time around!

And THAT alone is far better than any "collective do-overs."

Since no one man or woman are perfect, I painstakingly cringe at the mere thought of being "one and done."

It is no longer good or even acceptable to just be marked "present." You now need..."To Be Here," so that you do not "miss out" on...ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING!

Do whatever it takes, "To Be Here."

Love and My Mother are My Inspiration!
Love and My Mother are My Motivation!
Love and My Mother are My Celebration!
Love and My Mother are My Dedication!

All the Best, All the Time!
Corey

"In A Good Place"

I am ALIVE today!

I feel GOOD today!

I may not be where I want to be, but I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

"A Philly strut and a GODLY swagger," my friend told me.

I have come such a long way in a relatively short period of time and ALONG the way this journey has indeed had its peaks and valleys.

I quiver at the notion that I could actually be on the perimeter of GOD's Grace and Mercy. But on the outside looking in is not where my feet are firmly planted. They have long since been uprooted and enjoy the comfort and warmth of what it feels like to be on the INSIDE of GOD's Grace and Mercy.

The same friend also informed me that "once a mind has been stretched, it can never go back to its original form." That explains why "old ways, things and people" no longer fit. Respectfully, they have been outgrown.

I look around and even though the faces are not yet familiar, the presence of the Spirit IS. My comfort is not in the visual of familiarity, it is within the feeling of. I no longer need to SEE you, I just need to FEEL you (Love and My Mother).

Where I have been, what I have been through, what my eyes have seen and what my soul has experienced are all nothing short of wonderful for ALL that has been shown to me as I continue to "Grow THROUGH" my much needed "Growth SPURT."

Yes! I am ALIVE today!

Yes! I feel GOOD today!

And I am ever grateful for WHERE I am, WHAT I have, WHO I have it with and where it SHALL take me NEXT.

Tell yourself, "I am ALIVE today!"

Tell yourself, "I feel GOOD today!"

Tell yourself, "I may not be where I want to be, but I am exactly where I am supposed to be!"

Tell yourself, "I am, "In A Good Place.""

Another friend of mine told me that I look like I am "In A Good Place." It is nice to know that I now look, exactly how I feel.

I am indeed, "In A Good Place."

Love and My Mother are My Inspiration!
Love and My Mother are My Motivation!
Love and My Mother are My Celebration!
Love and My Mother are My Dedication!

All the Best, All the Time!
Corey

"Already Won"

I haven't even LACED up my sneaks yet and I have "Already Won."

I haven't even STARTED the ignition yet and I have "Already Won."

I haven't even CROSSED the finish line yet and I have "Already Won."

You see, I,I,I, just cannot lose! Imagine the confident swagger that permeates my being without raising a single boastful finger.

How can I NOT Smile knowing that I have "Already Won?"

How can I NOT laugh at the pettiness that does not even KNOW that I have "Already Won?"

Why would I even ENTERTAIN joining a franchise that does not pride itself on VICTORY?

Why would you even ATTEMPT to offer me something that you already know does not compare to the fact that I have "Already Won?"

Why would I even contemplate ACCEPTING what you have to offer knowing that you do not hold the keys to MY victory because I have, "Already Won?"

You see when I chose HIM, I knew that HE was solely responsible for rendering the decision as to when it is all said and done. It is my LORD and Savior that decided long ago, that I have "Already Won."

Not me.

Love and My Mother are My Inspiration!
Love and My Mother are My Motivation!
Love and My Mother are My Celebration!
Love and My Mother are My Dedication!

All the Best, All the Time!
Corey

"Expectations"

I believe that we shy away from them so as to avoid any commitment to them at all.

I mean, you cannot miss what you do not have, right?

But I vehemently beg to differ.

I get my annual flu shots with the "Expectation" that I will not get the flu. Now I do realize that there is a very real possibility that I can still contract the flu, but "Expectations" allows me to proactively prepare for the very real reason that I may NOT get the flu.

Whenever Report Card season rolls around, much to the chagrin of some students, parents are hopeful that all of their hard work and dedication to their children's education has paid off and therefore have the "Expectation" that they will be in perpetual congratulatory mode as they celebrate their childs accomplishments. Yet it is "Expectations" that cause us to shout with joy when "Expectations" have been met or to dole out punishment when "Expectations" have not been met, as we put our John Hancock's on said Report Cards.

Within my Congregation, at any moments notice, you can witness the athletic abilities of members sprinting around or your eyes can actually SEE the Holy Ghost in the ones that have been GENUINELY touched by the Spirit. You see we have "Expectations" OF the LORD, when we are obedient TO the LORD and that is totally acceptable.

But when those "Expectations" rest squarely on OUR shoulders, we fast forward so that we can reminisce to a time when they did NOT rest squarely on our shoulders.

"Expectations" are a funny thing. I firmly believe that should you fail to create none, you can expect just THAT in return.

Hey, you cannot miss what you do not have, right?

But when you CREATE "Expectations," you are holding yourself accountable for meeting them, working at their level or exceeding them. Probably in the same capacity that your employer rates your work performance on an annual basis.

If you want to play it safe and never be disappointed, have zero "Expectations" and allow people to come in and out of your Life as THEY see fit.

But if you want to establish a bar and level of commitment, then CREATE "Expectations" holding yourself and the people in "YOUR Life" accountable, making sure that conduct in a manner that is not responsible is not acceptable.

I did say "YOUR" Life...

The refusal OF them invokes a defense mechanism that speaks specifically to the denial of responsibility TO them, since I am not accountable FOR them.

Thank GOD that my Mother had "Expectations" of me. She EXPECTED me to be a decent human being, a good man and a wonderful father. She created "Expectations," established a bar and continued to raise it the closer that I got to manhood, in preparation for me to one day hold myself both accountable and responsible for everything that has anything to do with "MY Life."

I will always have "Expectations" of the people that are within my Life with the caveat that my wisdom is fully aware of the fact that all of my "Expectations" will not be met all of the time.

But it is better to have SOMETHING to work towards as opposed to having NOTHING to celebrate when "Expectations" have been met. But then again, you can't celebrate or miss what you do not have, right? You cannot acknowledge the accomplishments that you refuse to be held accountable TO and responsible FOR by way of not creating "Expectations."

Whether resting squarely on my shoulders or not, with open arms wide, in "MY Life," I welcome "Expectations."

Love and My Mother are My Inspiration!
Love and My Mother are My Motivation!
Love and My Mother are My Celebration!
Love and My Mother are My Dedication!

All the Best, All the Time!
Corey

"Free"

I have not been perfect in my Life.

But I stand here.

I have made numerous mistakes, both knowingly and unknowingly.

But I stand here, broken, scarred, healed, replenished, fulfilled, Blessed, admonished, admired, bare, focused and relentless in my pursuit to seek the best, be the best and give of me the absolute best!

Times throughout my Life, I did not know that I would be here, but someONE, someWHERE, Prayed for me to be there and HERE, is where I stand.

I have not been perfect in my Life.

But I stand here.

I have had my heart broken, I admit to breaking some hearts and I acknowledge the misgivings of misguided selfish thoughts that now require me to give OF my heart on this straight and narrow path of selflessness.

I have not been perfect in my Life.

But I stand here.

I forgive those before I ask to be forgiven. And since Love is the engine, I prefer to be driven.

I have not been perfect in my Life.

But I stand here.

I will apologize before being apologized to. For it is nothing but Love that will see me and get me through.

I have not been perfect in my Life.

But I stand here.

I have Faith to what is blind to the naked eye as I bare witness to everything that I trusted was already there.

I forever aspire to permanently inspire through my hearts soul & sole desire.

I have not been perfect in my Life.

But I stand here, to make amends, welcome new and revisit old friends, buck the system, creating new trends.

Hate cannot sell me, what I refuse to buy. I stand here, ready to live my Life before it is time for me to die.

Whatever your thoughts are or pertaining to me, I stand here before you, completely and unabashedly, "Free."

It is time to "Free" yourself!

Love and My Mother are My Inspiration!
Love and My Mother are My Motivation!
Love and My Mother are My Celebration!
Love and My Mother are My Dedication!

All the Best, All the Time!
Corey

"I'm Bigger Than That"

Once upon a time I remember being bullied as a young boy. These two particular people were always pushing me around when they were in each others company. Individually, they left me alone, but collectively, they were just bullies.

To this day and needless to say, I have ZERO patience and tolerance for bullies of ANY type.

When you think of bullying, it is not just relative to one physical, imposing stature compared to a less intimidating stature. Bullying comes in many different forms and consists of many different methods.

Some people bully because they have a higher education than others.

Some people bully because their pockets are deeper than others.

Some people bully because they are hurt or hurting, yet refuse to let it go because they need to feel vindicated.

Some people bully because they are better versed in a particular subject or on a specific subject matter.

Some people bully because they have broader horizons than the next person.

Some people bully because they are more seasoned than others.

Some people bully because they think they are tough.

Some people bully because they are vastly aware of their minuscule existence and need to tear YOU down just so that they can microscopically measure up.

But what I have come to realize is the fact that a bully is a bully, plain and simple. They are indeed "plain and simple."

The next time someone attempts to bully you, tell them to pick on somebody your own size: "I'm Bigger Than That."

Their rather "plain and simple" mentality will probably cause them to think they you are giving them kudos relative to their size in comparison to yours.

But in all actuality, your "Blessed and Loving" Spirit will admit to them that they are too small and insignificant to measure up to the biggest bodyguard that is within you.

It is not YOU that is too small compared to them. It is THEM that is too small in comparison to the GOD that lives within YOU!

Bullies SHOULD be afraid of the bullied. So, as you speak softly and carry your big stick, know that "You're Bigger Than That."

Remember: "plain and simple" divided by "Blessed and Loving" = "I'm Bigger Than That."

Be Blessed Today!!!

Love and My Mother are My Inspiration!
Love and My Mother are My Motivation!
Love and My Mother are My Celebration!
Love and My Mother are My Dedication!

All the Best, All the Time!
Corey

"Determined to Love"

In my Lifetime, I have decided, by way of a conscious DECISION, that I am "Determined to Love" with all of my unconditional heart, until this Lifetime I do depart.

There are a lot of things in my Life that I am determined to do.

I am determined to be a good son.

I am determined to be a good brother.

I am determined to be a good father.

I am determined to be a good friend.

I am determined to be a good person.

I am determined to be a good man.

I am determined to one day be a good HUSBAND.

And in order for me to be all of the above, Corey, I am "Determined to Love."

Love and My Mother are My Inspiration!
Love and My Mother are My Motivation!
Love and My Mother are My Celebration!
Love and My Mother are My Dedication!

All the Best, All the Time!
Corey

"Fix What You Break"

Once upon a time as a young lad, I remember the philosophy upon entering an establishment: "if you break it, you just bought it."

The sheer thought of having someone other than me paying for something that they could not use because I broke it and rendered it temporarily or permanently useless, terrified me.

I SAID, "The sheer thought of having someone other than me paying for something that they could not use because I broke it and rendered it temporarily or permanently useless, terrified me."

Obviously, I am not just referring to the physical items that decorate an establishment. I am also talking about the physical items that decorate GOD's establishment.

You see, I knew that breaking something was going to cost someone else, even though I was the perpetrator that caused the damage to begin with.

I was too afraid to break something and promptly obeyed Mother every time she instructed me, "don't touch! I cannot afford to replace anything in here." And she trusted me to do just that.

People browse through GOD's establishments touching any and everything that they can get their little hands on, totally oblivious and apathetic to the harm that they will cause, the cost that will befall someone else and the irreparable damage that they could truly care less about.

From establishment to establishment, their presence has an outstanding tab that they have zero intentions on ever repaying.

"If you break it, you just bought it." Not them!

If you can only afford to browse then browse through your own physical items so as not to damage the physical items that belong to others. You have absolutely no claim to something that belongs to someone else. So, "don't touch! You cannot afford to replace anything in here." That's what my Momma would say. And I trusted her when she said just that.

Now as an adult, I shop where I can afford to buy, but just in case, I carry my glue and a pocket full of forgiveness.

So, as you continue to browse through GOD and Life's establishments, hold yourself and be accountable for all of the things that you break (Hearts, Relationships, Marriages, Families, Homes and Friendships). And if it is not something that you can purchase after you have already broken it, then you must and should, "Fix What You Break."

I am done now. Feel free to use my crazy glue and I'll let you have some of this forgiveness in my pockets. Reparations are in order. Take what was once thought to be irreparably damaged, whether it is a physical item or one of GOD's items and repair it as if it belongs to you.

"If you break it, you just bought it."

Maintain that mentality so that you can process and handle GOD and Life's physical items as you would those in your favorite establishment.

If you can't afford to fix it, then don't break it! But, if you do break it, then "Fix What You Break."

Love and My Mother are My Inspiration!
Love and My Mother are My Motivation!
Love and My Mother are My Celebration!
Love and My Mother are My Dedication!

All the Best, All the Time!
Corey

"Abundance of Love"

You know the more that I talk to people, the more I begin to realize that we are ALL in need of Prayer, that is preceded and succeeded by an "Abundance of Love."

SomeONE, someWHERE is growing through someTHING, right now. An infiltration of one's mind that becomes a manifestation of one's body and a subsequent condemnation of one's Spirit. Yeah, an "Abundance of Love" is more than needed right about now.

When you see me, this is what Love looks like.

When you meet me, I already told you that "My Name IS Love" (http://allthebestallthetime.blogspot.com/2009/10/my-name-is-love.html).

Therefore, you are shaking the hand OF Love and embracing the notion that Love is indeed alive and well.

I strictly operate under the philosophy of an "Abundance of Love," by doing "All the Best, All the Time" and working diligently to create and sustain an atmosphere and environment that is conducive to an "Abundance of Love."

Anything less than is blasphemy because GOD is Love. My Father has expectations of HIS son and who am I to disappoint?

In the absence of, I will mark Love present.

In the darkness of, I will turn on Love's light.

If never spoken of, I will speak of Love.

When sick of Love, I will Pray for its health.

When too poor to Love, I will Pray for its wealth.

Too vengeful of, I ask forgiveness to overwhelm.

When too fearful of, courageousness abound.

When untrusting of, I will fall as if someone is going to catch me.

When hiding from, I will blindly reveal myself.

When I hear from, I will respond.

These are my promises to Love.
On behalf of Love.
Because of Love.

Embody my body with an "Abundance of Love."

Love and My Mother are My Inspiration!
Love and My Mother are My Motivation!
Love and My Mother are My Celebration!
Love and My Mother are My Dedication!

All the Best, All the Time!
Corey

"How Much Do You REALLY Weigh?"

Having managed to remove the clutter and chaos from your Life is kind of synonymous with having your vision 100% restored. While we thumb our way around in the dark, we are blind to the fact that our visibility has decreased, is diminished and very poor.

We stay masked behind the cloudiness of our situations so much so that we mistake our cloudy days for sunshine, that is until the REAL sunshine emerges, forcing us to confess to the darkness that it is not the true light, our illuminated paths.

We have become accustomed to carrying around unnecessary baggage and clutter, hoarding it as if it will one day amass some or any type of monetary value, that will ultimately sustain us for the rest of our days and beyond. We carry it as if it is representative of our Salvation.

If we are not paying close attention, we will allow people to ride piggyback, thus making us carry the WEIGHT of ourselves in addition to their own WEIGHT.

So, we begin to take inventory, looking at all of the things that surround us, hold us back, keep us and WEIGH us down. It is either part of the solution or it is part of the problem. If it is not part of the solution, then by default, it must be part of the problem.

We begin to sever ties by way of our thought processes, our logic and rationale, all of which was with us as we were thumbing through the dark. Had it not been for our poor and diminished visibility...

And now that you have released your dead WEIGHT, removed the clutter and the chaos, restored your visibility to no less than 100%, "How Much Do You REALLY Weigh?"

I Pray that you find yourself to be in better health and shape than what you initially thought.

The scale isn't that scary afterall now, is it?

GOD Bless You Today!

Love and My Mother are My Inspiration!
Love and My Mother are My Motivation!
Love and My Mother are My Celebration!
Love and My Mother are My Dedication!

All the Best, All the Time!
Corey

"All By Yourself"

I learned an all too important, in your face, valuable lesson very recently. You know my Mother used to constantly remind me that "you can lead a horse to water Corey, but you cannot make him drink."

You cannot teach someone that refuses to be taught.

You will not be heard if someone refuses to listen.

You cannot progress with someone that is content with their stagnancy.

Nothing will get "done" if people refuse to "do."

I am of the firm opinion that helping others is cool, when and where you can, but you cannot help someone more than they are willing to help themselves.

Sometimes people require you to "help them in order for you to help them," yet they do not understand nor do they appreciate the help that you have already given them. They just look for you to do more than what you have already done and would have you believe that all of your help and effort is required in order to "motivate" them to do what they should already be doing. Simply put, they do what they do best, they make excuses.

You will never be able to "take the reigns of someone's brain, implement their joy while replacing their pain." They are exactly where they want to be, until they specifically decide otherwise.

You were so right Momma! "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink."

I learned an all too important, in your face, valuable lesson very recently.

Do not bring yourself down in order to lift up someone else, because you can do bad, "All By Yourself."

Love and My Mother are My Inspiration!
Love and My Mother are My Motivation!
Love and My Mother are My Celebration!
Love and My Mother are My Dedication!

All the Best, All the Time!
Corey